Frumpter Attachments
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Thursday, July 28, 2005
I WALK in THEIR shoes.
Barefoot Jewess, your comment about rachamim has been noted. I even went back into the post and took out some angry words to calm the language a bit.
Anonymous, I don't know if you realize, but I've been as celibate as one can get since I've been frum. I mean, no touching, no massages, no dances, no hooking up, no sex, nada. Coming from a place where before I was frum I lived a normal, secularly *clears throat* healthy sex life, I know what it means to be intimate, and I know what it means to indulge. I also know what it means not to indulge, as I have been practicing that with frustration every day of my frum life. We are close to counting 1,200 days of no sex, no touching, and no intimacy. I believe that gives me the privilege to say and write what I have said because I live it every day. Anonymous, I write about life in MY shoes, because MY shoes ARE THEIR shoes.
However, if you are defending the apparently religious guys who break Torah and have adulterous sex with other women while they are MARRIED with their wives in NIDDAH in their homes while they go satisfy their temptations, in those shoes I will NEVER walk.
I have read Nice Jewish Girl's blog on many occasions, and I have even commented on it on a few posts. Her situation scares me because I am not too many years behind her and I am single too. She grew up frum, and I grew up anti-frum. I feel terrible that she has never been kissed, and I wish her the best. I admire her dearly. It's a shame she's not writing frequently any more.
In short, I am very surprised I am getting such resistance from this message. I meant it to be spiritual and enlightening; a kick in the butt and a dose of truth. I was actually writing the post more for me than for all of you because as you know, I think about my chosen state of shomer negiah (abstinence) almost every day. I am highly lonely and I am seriously frustrated. I ask Hashem (G-d) that this loneliness stop and that one day I get rewarded for abstaining from girlfriends, touching, and sex.
Despite what I have complained about in past blog entries, I am still shomer negiah although I can't say for a nanosecond that I enjoy it.
I hope you are able to see past any perceived pontifications to realize that I am a simple guy trying to understand why Torah has forced me to be estranged from intimate experiences with women (even with one girlfriend) and why I have taken this prohibition on, as it is my strongest desire.
[Click Here to Return to Blog.]
Anonymous, I don't know if you realize, but I've been as celibate as one can get since I've been frum. I mean, no touching, no massages, no dances, no hooking up, no sex, nada. Coming from a place where before I was frum I lived a normal, secularly *clears throat* healthy sex life, I know what it means to be intimate, and I know what it means to indulge. I also know what it means not to indulge, as I have been practicing that with frustration every day of my frum life. We are close to counting 1,200 days of no sex, no touching, and no intimacy. I believe that gives me the privilege to say and write what I have said because I live it every day. Anonymous, I write about life in MY shoes, because MY shoes ARE THEIR shoes.
However, if you are defending the apparently religious guys who break Torah and have adulterous sex with other women while they are MARRIED with their wives in NIDDAH in their homes while they go satisfy their temptations, in those shoes I will NEVER walk.
I have read Nice Jewish Girl's blog on many occasions, and I have even commented on it on a few posts. Her situation scares me because I am not too many years behind her and I am single too. She grew up frum, and I grew up anti-frum. I feel terrible that she has never been kissed, and I wish her the best. I admire her dearly. It's a shame she's not writing frequently any more.
In short, I am very surprised I am getting such resistance from this message. I meant it to be spiritual and enlightening; a kick in the butt and a dose of truth. I was actually writing the post more for me than for all of you because as you know, I think about my chosen state of shomer negiah (abstinence) almost every day. I am highly lonely and I am seriously frustrated. I ask Hashem (G-d) that this loneliness stop and that one day I get rewarded for abstaining from girlfriends, touching, and sex.
Despite what I have complained about in past blog entries, I am still shomer negiah although I can't say for a nanosecond that I enjoy it.
I hope you are able to see past any perceived pontifications to realize that I am a simple guy trying to understand why Torah has forced me to be estranged from intimate experiences with women (even with one girlfriend) and why I have taken this prohibition on, as it is my strongest desire.
[Click Here to Return to Blog.]
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